Monday, June 26, 2006
Adventures with Ricky
This blog is dedicated to the memories of my son and his family and friends who love him. He lived a full life, but was gone way too soon. I hope family and friends will share stories and thoughts about who he was. Those of you who have sent me pictures and told me stories of his times with you, they are appreciated by me. I saw Ricky through your eyes and was able to see the man he had become instead of just through a mother's eyes.
Through his daughter and her mother's stories I see more of the father he was becoming. I truly feel he is with us in so many ways. You've told me of your own dreams and feelings of his presence. Through those stories and pictures, I have been comforted and I know a sense of peace.
In future postings, I'll share some pics of Ricky and his family and friends. A memorial scholarship will be established in his name for soccer students. It may not be a lot, but it will be given with the love we all had for Ricky.
Love to you all.
Theresa
This blog is dedicated to the memories of my son and his family and friends who love him. He lived a full life, but was gone way too soon. I hope family and friends will share stories and thoughts about who he was. Those of you who have sent me pictures and told me stories of his times with you, they are appreciated by me. I saw Ricky through your eyes and was able to see the man he had become instead of just through a mother's eyes.
Through his daughter and her mother's stories I see more of the father he was becoming. I truly feel he is with us in so many ways. You've told me of your own dreams and feelings of his presence. Through those stories and pictures, I have been comforted and I know a sense of peace.
In future postings, I'll share some pics of Ricky and his family and friends. A memorial scholarship will be established in his name for soccer students. It may not be a lot, but it will be given with the love we all had for Ricky.
Love to you all.
Theresa
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
I Miss Ricky
As Thanksgiving has past and I've talked to Natali and my mom and Don, I can't stop thinking about Ricky and how much I miss him. This time last year I was shopping for him and Mikey looking for things to add to their collections. He was going to collect dragons and I was looking forward to adding to his collection. Now I see things that Ricky would like and I just get sad. I think about how happy he had seemed. I've seen pictures of him with his friends and everything looked fine. I find myself all of a sudden crying and thinking "what happened?" Life is so short and we never know how much time we have together. I wonder how a young man, who is seemingly healthy, have an accidental overdose of alcohol? What a way to die. He wasn't plastered or blitzed he just had more alcohol in his body than his system could handle and then peacefully fell asleep and didn't wake up
He had plans for the next day with his step dad and I. His daughter was growing into a young lady to be proud of. What happened....?! He gave so much love and thoughtfulness to all of us who were his family and friends. He had everything to live for. When you think of an accident you think of cars, planes or a household accidents; not alcohol.
It's coming up to a year now and it seems every night for the last 2 weeks I just cry. Don's visiting his children in CA. Mikey is grown up and has his own life. My stepdad apparently has put it somewhere else in his life. I'm working on doing things for myself to help me get through these times, but sometimes it's so hard. Other members of my family miss him too, but I don't know what the answers are for sharing our grief. I'll be giving a soccer scholarship in his memory. Soccer helped Ricky stay in school. I went to just about every soccer game he had. He loved it. When his knee went bad he was so frustrated, but just played other games. Giving a scholarship is my way of trying to still show my love for Ricky and what he loved.
Sometimes you wonder if your children know that you love them and that you wanted the world for them. I wonder if Mikey knows that I want him to be the happiest he can be in life. Now that he has a daughter, I'm sure he can imagine the anxiety you feel when you don't know if you're being a good parent or not. I always worried about that with my boys. Ricky and Mikey were my reason for working the way I did. Sometimes I just fight the despair of "does it all even matter?" I know in my heart that striving to be the best mom you can and letting your children know you love them; will win them back after they have rebelled. I think of Ricky's spirit being with me and that he shares his time among all of us who may need the comfort his presence in our lives. Sometimes I can feel his hugs or the little things he would say to me to make me laugh or annoy me. I miss listening to Ricky and Don talk about sports. Don connected on a different level than Ricky did with me and I liked and appreciated that. All of this hurts and as his anniversary approaches I find it hard to get through a night without crying for the loss of his phone calls, teasing and most of all spending time with me, the old lady that loves him. I just miss him and wish he was here!!!
He had plans for the next day with his step dad and I. His daughter was growing into a young lady to be proud of. What happened....?! He gave so much love and thoughtfulness to all of us who were his family and friends. He had everything to live for. When you think of an accident you think of cars, planes or a household accidents; not alcohol.
It's coming up to a year now and it seems every night for the last 2 weeks I just cry. Don's visiting his children in CA. Mikey is grown up and has his own life. My stepdad apparently has put it somewhere else in his life. I'm working on doing things for myself to help me get through these times, but sometimes it's so hard. Other members of my family miss him too, but I don't know what the answers are for sharing our grief. I'll be giving a soccer scholarship in his memory. Soccer helped Ricky stay in school. I went to just about every soccer game he had. He loved it. When his knee went bad he was so frustrated, but just played other games. Giving a scholarship is my way of trying to still show my love for Ricky and what he loved.
Sometimes you wonder if your children know that you love them and that you wanted the world for them. I wonder if Mikey knows that I want him to be the happiest he can be in life. Now that he has a daughter, I'm sure he can imagine the anxiety you feel when you don't know if you're being a good parent or not. I always worried about that with my boys. Ricky and Mikey were my reason for working the way I did. Sometimes I just fight the despair of "does it all even matter?" I know in my heart that striving to be the best mom you can and letting your children know you love them; will win them back after they have rebelled. I think of Ricky's spirit being with me and that he shares his time among all of us who may need the comfort his presence in our lives. Sometimes I can feel his hugs or the little things he would say to me to make me laugh or annoy me. I miss listening to Ricky and Don talk about sports. Don connected on a different level than Ricky did with me and I liked and appreciated that. All of this hurts and as his anniversary approaches I find it hard to get through a night without crying for the loss of his phone calls, teasing and most of all spending time with me, the old lady that loves him. I just miss him and wish he was here!!!
